crazy lady ramblings

What does it mean to be proud of someone? Why do people feel the desire to make others proud of them?

yuck!

I am disgusted with myself. When I look in the mirror I get sick. I cannot believe how much I’ve let myself go. I have gained back almost all the weight I lost all those years ago and I am embarrassed. I have realized that I have been avoiding certain things because of my embarrassment of how much weight I have gained. I do not want and will not hang out my husbands friends because I am embarrassed by how I look. I feel bad for my husband that he is married to such a fatty. I am not the woman he married and I hate myself for it. I really NEED to do something about it. I need to get serious about losing weight. I told my best friend last week that I was going to get back on track and then I continued to eat like crap and sit on my ass. I know the secret to losing weight. I need to eat less and get off my ass and be more active. It sounds simple enough. However, I love food. Food is my addiction. I can no longer give people crap for smoking because for the life of me I cannot break my addiction to food.

I train with Steve, just so you know...

Today was weigh in day. I am only down .2 pounds from last wednesday but I will take it! I mean at least the scale is moving in the right direction, right?

I have found something I really, really, enjoy. Green Monsters! Information and recipes can be found here . There are lots of ways to make them but the way I like mine is

1 Tablespoon Flax seed
1 Cup spinach
1 Cup almond milk
1 Banana

blend that all up and then add 6 or 8 icecubes and blend again. It tastes like a banana milkshake I swear!!

I also want to share a video found. So funny!!

Enjoy!

Week One

Week one went great and I am down 8.2 pounds! I found some good blogs for motivation and tried some new recipes. I wish I could say I kept track of what I ate and its points plus values 100% but I started out doing good and then over the weekend I stopped. Today is Monday though and I am back on track. Pretty sure I used all my weeklies over the weekend and I am ok with that.

 I took before pictures so I am excited to see where this journey will lead me. I am thinking of taking pictures for every 10 pounds lost. I know that it will not be noticeable in the beginning but I think it’s something I will look forward to and can use as motivation to keep trucking along. I know I should do measurements but that just seems like a lot of work.

I need to play around with this blog a bit more.  I want to put links to my favorite blogs on the side and I need to learn how to post pictures. I would love to post some of the new recipes I have been trying.

Where to begin?

It’s been awhile. I wish I could say during my time away I found the skinny girl in me but instead she’s gotten buried further inside as I have gotten even bigger.  Since my last post I suffered from a bout of plantar fasciitis which I tried to ignore and continue running. That turned out to be a very bad idea. I had to stop exercising since I could barely walk and went to the Good Feet Store to get fitted for orthotics.  Plantar fasciitis gets better if you rest and your foot and because I had an excuse not to exercise I used it. Since I wasn’t exercising any resemblance of a diet eventually went out the window as well. Since then I have gained the little I had lost plus an extra 20 pounds. Ouch!! I cannot believe I let myself get so much out of control. I almost weigh as much as I did at my heaviest. I worked so hard to lose the weight the first time that I cannot believe I let myself go back to that.  On Monday last week I stepped on the scale and decided enough is enough.  It’s a new year and what better time to make a change than now? Since then I have come up with a game plan to fight the fat.

1.) Try new recipes and cook more often

2.) Pack lunch, supper and healthy snacks for work

3.) Keep a food journal and track everything

4.) Try to stay busy so I don’t just eat out of boredom

5.) Find blogs to read daily to inspire/motivate me